How to Give (and Get) a Forced Orgasm

Forced orgasms (also known as forced cumming) can be a kinky way to spice up the bedroom, and they’re a staple of BDSM play. Here’s everything you need to know about having (and giving someone) a forced orgasm.

What Is a Forced Orgasm?

A forced orgasm is just as its name implies: an orgasm that is “forced” upon a person. In BDSM scenarios, a dominant partner stimulates a submissive partner, forcing them to cum. That doesn’t mean you need to be in a D/s relationship to experiment with forced orgasms, though – anyone can do it.

The submissive partner is typically tied down so they can’t prevent the dominant partner from making them orgasm
Forced orgasms can be “torturous”
Women who can climax multiple times can be forced to cum over and over until they’re exhausted or overstimulated
Men can be subjected to post-orgasm torture, where their penis is overstimulated until they cum again or beg their partner to stop
The dominant partner can use any means they’d like to force orgasms, from manual stimulation to toys such as vibrators, Fleshlights, and prostate massagers
You can get bondage gear that makes it fun and easy to restrain your partner during forced orgasms

Keep reading to learn more about forced orgasms and get a few tips for your next sexy session.

Tips for Fantastic Forced Orgasms

Consider these tips for giving (and getting) incredible forced orgasms (obligatory always make sure all parties consent).

1. Introduce the Idea to Your Partner

Sharing new kinks with your partner can feel daunting, even if you’re in a healthy, nonjudgmental relationship. You can start by telling your partner you read an online article about forced orgasms and thought it might be fun to try (which is probably true).

See how your partner responds to the idea. Do they think it sounds fun and exciting? Are they hesitant or nervous? Do they want to experience forced orgasms, too?

Then, discuss different scenarios and how you might introduce forced orgasms into the bedroom. You can start slow by dipping your toes in the water with some light bondage, or you can go all in with toys (a shared sexy shopping spree is always fun!), or start anywhere in between.

The key, as always, is communication. Make sure both partners are comfortable and set ground rules before you delve into the world of forced orgasms.

2. Set a Safe Word

Speaking of ground rules, you should always set a safe word before you start experimenting with forced orgasm. Why? Because it’s likely the person being “forced” will beg for mercy, plead for release, and cry for their partner to stop torturing them – and that’s all part of the fun. A safe word is the only word that both partners know means “stop, seriously, right now.”

A safe word isn’t just for hardcore BDSM – it ensures both partners are comfortable and know they have the power to stop any activity at any time. That makes forced orgasms more enjoyable, especially those who approach the idea with trepidation.

3. Discuss Scenes

Now that you’ve decided to give forced orgasms a try (and set a safe word), the next step is to discuss different scenes with your partner. What scenarios would you like to try? Here are some ideas to consider:

Bondage: Tie your partner down before giving them a forced orgasm. Keep them tied down for another round!
Roleplay: There are multiple role playing scenarios you can try. For example, one partner can be a doctor or nurse giving their patient a forced orgasm. Or one partner can be a villain who has capture a superhero and is giving them the ultimate torturous delight
Number of Times to Cum: You can specify a number of times your partner must cum before the forced orgasms stop – or set a time limit in which one partner will attempt to make their partner cum as many times as possible during before time expires
No Orgasm Challenge: An opposite spin on this is to set a time limit and have one partner attempt to make their partner cum. That partner must resist cumming. If they orgasm, they get punished. If they don’t, they get rewarded
Hands-Free: Tie one partner up and place a vibrator on their genitals, then sit back and watch them squirm!
Forced Masturbating: In this scenario, a dominant partner forces their partner to masturbate to orgasm

Of course, these are just a few initial ideas. If you’re not sure where to start, you can watch forced orgasm porn or read forced orgasm erotica to find inspiration. Discuss with your partner, get creative, and plan scenes that excite both of you!

Related: 21 Femdom Humiliation Ideas

4. Cater to the Sub (Receiver)

Even if you’re not in a D/s relationship, when you’re experimenting with forced orgasms, you consider the partner giving the forced orgasm to be the dominant and the partner receiving it to be the submissive. And even though subs are, well, submissive to their doms (or dommes), a good forced orgasm session caters to the submissive.

Consider what type of forced orgasm is appropriate and pleasurable for both partners:

If a woman is the sub and can have multiple orgasms, how many should she have in a row?
If she can’t have multiple orgasms or if it’s too intense, back off a bit, wait for her to relax, then resume play
If the man is the sub and can’t have multiple orgasms (due to the naturally longer refractory period), you might consider subjecting him to post-orgasm torture instead of trying to make him cum over and over again
Does your partner enjoy being tied up or otherwise restrained?
Is orgasm torture pare of chastity play? Do you want to experience making a man cum in chastity? (tip: prostate play can help)
Is one goal to make a woman squirt? Is that something both partners would enjoy?

There truly are many different ways to incorporate forced orgasms into sexytime – just make sure you’re satisfying the needs and desires of both partners.

5. Bring Toys into the Equation

You can use your hands, mouth, and your sexiest bits to force an orgasm, but toys can help bring things to an intense new level. Consider adding the following toys:

Vibrator
Prostate massager
Butt plug
Dildo
Forced orgasm belt or harness
Forced orgasm tower
Bondage gear (restraints, blindfolds, etc.)
Chastity cage

Again, these are just a few ideas – any sex toy can be used for forced orgasms!

6. Don’t Forget Aftercare

Many subs experience what’s known as “sub-drop” after an intense session, and you don’t need to be in a D/s relationship to experience the phenomena.

Essentially, your mind and body get revved up with endorphins and adrenaline during an intense scene, creating a sense of euphoria. After a scene (in this case, a forced orgasm), those endorphin and adrenaline levels recede, which can leave a sub feeling depressed, tired, embarrassed, anxious, and irritable – emotionally and physically low, hence the term “sub drop.” It can occur within minutes or even up to a few days after your play session.

Aftercare is the act of providing emotional and physical support for your partner after an intense session. Aftercare can combat the negative effects of sub drop, helping the sub feel accepted and comfortable, and stirring thoughts and emotions that put them in a good mental space.

Post-forced orgasm aftercare ideas include:

Cuddling
Affirming statements (“I love you,” “you are special,” “you mean the world to me”)
Massages
Light snacks and drinks (tea, hot chocolate, or juice are good options)
Listening to music or reading poetry or literature
Meditation
Soft kisses and tender, softly sensual touch
Gaming (video, card, or board games)
A warm blanket
Showering together

As in all aspects of relationships, be sure to ask your partner what they would like during aftercare. What will soothe their soul, help them feel more connected with you, and make them comfortable after a forced orgasm?

Forced orgasms can be an intense yet incredibly fun activity to add to your bedroom play, whether you’re experienced in BDSM or simply exploring ways to spice things up. Incorporate the tips listed here to ensure both partners get what they need and desire out of your next session.

A Note About Forced Orgasms in Sexual Assault

When we’re talking about forced orgasms, we’re referring to sexual play between consenting partners. However, forced orgasms can happen during sexual assault. Find resources for victims of sexual assault at the National Sexual Assault Hotline.